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Dealing with Rejection:
How to Bounce Back and Try Again

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Dealing with rejection from women

Rejection, rejection by a woman, rejection by the woman, the woman who has captured your thoughts, the woman whose smile sends delicious shivers of warmth down your spine, the woman whose touch you dream of ... this icy doom fills you with dread. It is the utter desolation of helplessness. It is the worm of self−doubt. It is the gripping fear that warns you to abandon hope.

Rejection is a part of everyday life. People are turned down for raises, refused promotions, declined for loans, and passed over for recognition. Rejection is not final. Rejection is not failure.

Rejection is not ruin. Indeed, rejection is the necessary precursor to eventual triumph.

There is nothing personal about rejection. It happens to everyone. It is part of "the cost of doing business". It is intimately connected with risk taking. Every worthwhile endeavor at some point involves the risk of failure. That is what makes life interesting.

The odds are that you will be rejected, will fall flat on your face 5, 10, even 20 times before you taste success. Go on out and get the rejections over with, and you will be that much closer to your goal. Learn a little from each denial, and continually refine your technique. It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all. And often enough our faith beforehand in an uncertified result is the only thing that makes the result come true.

Consider a rejection as a "second opinion" of sorts. The woman who rejects you could well have sounder judgment in the matter of a possible relationship than you. She might have compelling reasons for her conclusion that you are ill suited for each other, saving the both of you a good deal of future grief. This does not, of course, mean you are worthless as a person, just that she was not meant for you, and that you should find someone else.

There are techniques that can remove some of the sting from the fear of rejection. Simply "scoping the situation out", proceeding in small steps rather than taking the grand plunge all at once, is a prudent method of risk management. Asking a woman you have just met to become intimately involved with you is an enterprise almost certain to fail. Asking her to share five minutes over a cup of coffee is a more modest proposal, one much more likely to meet with her approval (after that, she may hint, or even tell you outright if she is willing to go farther). Tackle tricky situations in small increments.

When you do face rejection, and you will, accept it with good cheer. Bounce back and try again (presumably with a different woman). Continued life experience will desensitize you to the trauma of having doors slammed in your face. You learn to survive. You learn to go on. You learn to keep trying. Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.



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